I got there a couple minutes early today…it’s just a couple of minutes away but somehow i miscalculated today. On days like this when it’s a bit chilly out I don’t like to stand out in the cold waiting for the gate to open for us to be reunited with our progeny. Though I must admit I do enjoy the little tid bits of social niceties exchanged about the weather or some other small talk with people waiting alongside. Some have remained brief courteous nods as with the father from Montenegro who daily picks up his two lovely (literally beautiful) daughters one of whom is in Dante’s class wearing his building super uniform. Others I’ve slowly gotten to know a bit more in these brief interactions such as the grandmother from the Dominican Republic who cares for her young grandson. We chit chat in Spanish. She’s been in the neighborhood for many years. Her daughter (the child’s mom) actually went to this same elementary school. Originally I got to know her when I was trying to organize parent chaperones for field trips and she had shown some interest. Turned out she never made it to a field trip but nonetheless communication between us opened up. A few months back she shared her eldest daughter was fighting cancer and for a while there it got so bad she she shed quite a few tears in our short conversations. My heart went out to her. Eventually I got to meet her youngest daughter (the boy’s mom, 23) whom I now actually look forward to seeing every day. The marriage with the child’s Dad didn’t work out so she’s living with her mom again going to school and hoping for a part time job. She’s got an intriguing look…dyed jet black kinky hair, very fair skin and features that would inspire any Japanese shojo manga illustrator. She went to get copies of her divorce papers at city hall today, it’s actually been a while since it all came down, she had just somehow lost them. She expressed her desire to take back her maiden name and revealed a subtle wound as she informed me next time she gets married she want to marry someone “white” so she can have a nice last name. I then ran into whom I would say is one of my closest friends, she’d blond and blue eyed and lives right smack in the middle of Harlem with her husband and two kids. I shared the fact that I picked up Dreams from my Father this week and I couldn’t put it down knowing she too was reading it. She’s gonna be out leafletting tomorrow morning at 7:30am with a another friend who is actually an active volunteer for the campaign and called her because she’d seen the Obama poster on their front door. It’s a busy few minutes I tell you. By this time I’m inside the schoolyard gate picking up Dante and confirming the time for next Monday with his teacher for an art project another parent and I will come to the classroom to do with the kids. I have a few kids running circles around me at this time. I go back to the young mom and point out the new kid in the class from France who doesn’t speak a word of English. He started yesterday and I was just excited to share the news. Then I moved on to the little girl who all week has been asking for a playdate with Dante. I did approach her grandmother on Monday who responded with a very bewildered look on her face so I quickly dismissed it suggesting maybe when the weather warmed up we could go to the playground. I assumed that maybe the idea didn’t sit well with here because of the stranger factor given we didn’t really know each other but soon figured out the next day that maybe she just didn’t understand what I was trying to say. She looks African American but when I heard her speaking Spanish the next day I realized maybe she was Caribbean and didn’t speak English so well so I approached the subject again in Spanish and she again seemed to dodge the issue saying she’d run it by the child’s mom. And then again the next day when the little girl ran up to me informing me her mom had said yes but when I approached the grandmother she said the weather was bad and needed to catch the bus home right away. I really tried to make the social engagement the least intimidating possible but somehow it was just not getting through. Finally today when the little girl came up to me and I looked up at the grandmother she greeted me with a great big smile and engaged in conversation about this never ceasing petition for a playdate. We finally agreed on them coming over tomorrow. After all that work it took to get to this point she expressed how it would be really nice for her to get out given she had “lost” a daughter last year and wasn’t getting out much these days. Go figure. Oddly enough you never know what lies underneath the facades of everyday acquaintances. I am totally looking forward to getting to know this woman.

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