Meeting the Guidance Counselor.
Anika, NYC PS 9, age 8 February 12th, 2008So we had our big meeting yesterday with the teachers and the school guidance counselor. This was the first time I had really sat and talked with the guidance counselor who happens to be a lovely lady. She immediately stated how happy she was that we were all coming together to discuss the issue at hand regarding Anika in the context of this very high needs classroom. Aside from listening to our concerns she focused on what Anika needed to thrive in such an environment which resonated with me because that’s how I’ve managed to hang in there this long to begin with. She acknowledged that problems exist everywhere, in every school, in every context, in every program and of course I agreed with her. That is life. It is not perfect. She then went on to focus on what we could all to to help Anika thrive in her classroom environment like helping build resiliency, helping Anika find her voice so she can speak up and express her feelings and needs in such a context and developing a pliability/elasticity as opposed to rigidity in regards towards Anika’s tendency towards perfectionism. This was all good, I agreed these are good things. The teachers offered to revisit and reestablish a rapport and communication with Anika to help her in these areas. Somehow it all stayed eerily positive. I know on my end I was very cautious in trying to keep it positive so as to not unnecessarily escalate a situation and thus make it worse and of course the administrative representative came off as wanting to smooth this all out as quickly as possible. Anika’s teachers gave me the impression of genuine concern and a willingness to continue to go above and beyond in trying to make the best of this unfortunate situation. The guidance counselor hinted more at the possibility of us being over protective and not allowing the room for Anika to normalize and adjust in a peer social context. Not wanting to come off as over protective and thus quickly dismissed I found myself just sort of agreeing with it all and holding on to the microscopic golden nuggets of hope for dear life and reassurance that everything was going to be ok and that soon enough Anika would finally have the opportunity to test for the infamous Gifted & Talented program and hopefully be given one of the very likely TWO coveted spots in the other class. Ah and yes, the guidance counselor affirmed two to three times over what a wonderful school this was and how fortunate we were to be there and how the services and teachers were top notch etc. etc.
I walked out with a general sense that I had gained an ally in trying to make the best of the situation and helping Anika hang in there and again “just make the best of it.”
And then in the short walk home I slowly began to feel “duped” I guess you could say.
How in the world did the conversation stick to where Anika needed to grow and mature and completely ignore the fact of the EXTENUATING circumstances this New York Public school has locked her into?
This is NOT just a normal public school classroom environment especially at this school. I’m slowing finding out about an unspoken consensus among most parents and staff that this is by far the most challenging class in the whole school. We’re talking kids constantly on the verge of breakdowns threatening the safety of all around them having tantrums to the equivalent of an out of control two year old cussing out anyone within their voices reach crawling all over the floor and even throwing chairs!!! These are all incidents within the last year. To be fair, the full on tantrums come about monthly(I found out the latest of these was just yesterday) but on a more regular basis you have the cussing , the general disruptive misbehavior of not listening to instructions, getting in and out of seat at will the personal frustrations of an emotionally disturbed child not being able to complete a simple assignment and falling apart crying, the paranoia of the kid across the room “lookin’ at him”, and all too normal ADD typical behaviors. Technically I don’t know how many kids in there are Special Education but I do know from first hand experience that these are the “normal” behaviors of at least a handful of kids in there that overwhelmingly set the tone for all the rest. The bulk of the class is made of of what would be more appropriately categorized as remedial kids, kids with mild learning disabilities but otherwise well behaved and kids who are very recent English Language Lerners. Out of 23 kids, Anika is one of THREE peers similar to herself. Out of those 3 one is new this schoolyear and the other just enrolled in December. There is one more academically advanced kid in there but he is also one that has been known to cry uncontrollably, tantrum and is constantly up and about doing his own thing.
YES, there are TWO credentialed teachers in there and two assistants and that is an honorable effort on the schools behalf to adequately address the needs there along with the countless specialists coming in and out to pick up kids to provide the much applauded enrichment services. Yes this is all great for the rest of the kids who need all that. For Anika it is a sad case of the injustice of a system that would have a child (and parent) suffer through this all when there is a much more appropriate placement RIGHT NEXT DOOR!!! The INJUSTICES of this system hide behind what I would deem controversial and subjective assesments/ tests and evaluations of 4 year olds to determine “giftedness” and lock any poor unfortunate soul or newcomer out of the only possibility of a decent education regardless of ACTAUL PERFORMANCE!!!
Now I am glad Anika is doing well despite all the formerly stated unfortunate circumstances but I am worried…very worried. I’m seeing this environment take its toll and I am having difficulty assessing when too much is too much while at the same time hanging on to the glimmer of hope of getting the opportunity to finally get out of that predicament for next year.
What is a mother to do?
At the very least I feel a tad better getting this all out.
Ah, and yes, I called the guidance counselor back today and left a message saying I was still having a very difficult time with this situation despite our meeting yesterday.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Hey Lilia, it’s me Jennifer (Scott’s sister), I tend to pop in every once in a while to see how life is treating you out east.
As a teacher I have enjoyed reading your educational experience, whether it be home schooling or now public education. I’ve noticed that you’ve helped out in the kids classrooms for outings, do they allow you to help out in the classrooms? It would be interesting to see how the teachers are dealing with the outbursts first hand. —–jen
February 20th, 2008 at 11:09 am
HI Jen!! You are welcomed here anytime.
To answer your question, parents in the classrooms is highly regulated at this school. We are not allowed just to drop in or help. We can make arrangements for the child’s birthday to come in an celebrate with cupcakes, we are invited for “publishing parties” about once a quarter, we are invited for “open house” (1 hour) where we can observe the class in action. Other than that I’ve had the opportunity to come in and work on the class art project for both kids which is great because it’s just me and another parent as opposed to a whole group of parents giving me the opportunity to better observe the day to day class dynamic. I have attended several field trips for both kids as well.
That said, I must acknowledge Anika’s teachers are very well trained and phenomenal at what they do. They make a great team and really they are the reason I have hung in there this long. From what I can tell they deal with any class situation very calmly on a one on one basis and children who cause major interruptions are quickly removed always with kind words and respect. It does not seem like physical prompting is ever implemented let alone any kind of restraints. From a Special Ed. perspective it is an ideal environment for learning disabilities or mild emotional disturbance or the more common ADD diagnosis. Academically the special needs children show impressive results on standardized tests. The classroom is extremely well managed with lots of positive reinforcements all around.
So what’s the problem you ask? Well, Anika is neither a Special Ed. candidate or a child who benefits from the constant repetition implemented for remedial or learning disabled children. This school prides itself in their use of “differentiated curriculum” and I agree that Anika is given appropriate learning material some of the time. Academics tend to be open ended enough to allow children to respond at their levels…ie. writing responses, reading material. Like I said, there are reasons why I’ve hung in there this long. The problem remains that there are many whole group lessons (social studies, science, music, art, and often math) that are greatly simplified and often repeated more than average to meet the needs of 98% of this class. As a parent, I see my child constrained under a glass ceiling just from the very nature of the makeup of this class. This is even more dramatically highlighted because of the G&T “classification” of the other two 3rd grade classes at this school. At this point I could care less about this label, we’re talking Anika’s proven performance above and beyond that this NYC school system fails to recognize. Not only that, I suspect our principal has a lot more say in this matter than she cares to admit and hides behind the labels and theories as an excuse to leave things as is.
There is one more major problem I have with this situation. Let’s say academically the situation is acceptable given the amazing teachers socially we have a whole other disturbing factor. In this type of classroom kids are often rewarded for not acting out and are given more freedom than the norm for otherwise unacceptable behaviors. This is GREAT for them. What does Anika experience though? She disappears in the background. Reinforcement is for kids who need it…the kids that tend to have the problems. Kids that just do the right thing are dismissed as being fine and not needing any help monitoring or modifying their behavior. There are several children the get up at will for this or that giving the appearance of an unruly class but on the contrary giving these children the extra breathing room to function within their needs is great for them but for a child like Anika it presents an incredible test of maturity to understand that the differing behavior expectations are not “unfair” but appropriate for each individual child’s needs. Thank God she is such a mature child but nonetheless her own normalizing self feedback goes askew given the “norm” of her context. Her response and my biggest concerns have been “perfectionism” to distinguish herself from what goes on around her and a slow extinguishing of her internal curiosity and love of learning let alone wasted potential.
So there you have it. I have come to the conclusion that this is neither a beneficial academic nor socializing context. Anika’s grace for all kinds of needs and kids extends beyond her years; she is friendly with all in her class and is well liked and looked up to. I myself have also grown to really love the kids in her class even from my limited experience. I am the class parent and have taken that very seriously and have positively engaged many parents in this class. My heart goes out to the parents who struggle with children with different needs. Actually if Anika had a group of similar peers to herself in this class I would be much more inclined to hang in there ’til the end (very likely the end of 5th grade) but the problem is she stands alone in this context. There is one new boy in her class which is more of a peer but behaviorally he is having a different reaction adjusting to this class.
Though I recognize it is not a “life and death” situation it is nonetheless incredibly difficult and currently I am deeply torn as to how to proceed but I am sure Anika needs to be removed from this context ASAP.
I respond to you not only as a friend but as a professional in your field. Any feedback would be much appreciated.
-Lilia