About
Let’s see…this blog really is just an expression of me…it does not encompass everything as I think nothing really could…it is a glimpse into the space and time of my life at the moment here to share with family and friends and whoever else may be in the least bit curious.
You can say I’m somewhat whimsical (capricious rather) in my interests which change as often as the weather on the east coast but the categories are there because they convey topics I keep coming back to, some more often than others. There is a lack of vocational (professional) focus in general that I plan to address in the coming weeks (months) now that both of my kids are full time schoolchildren. The last season (8 yrs) of my life consisted primarily of family life though I did periodically take up mentally and creatively stimulating projects (ie. creative research, graphic design, painting, photography, interior and landscape design, leadership in teams and group projects). I’ve had quite the enjoyable life with a loving husband, great kids and lots of wonderful experiences, friends and travel. Given that, I probably just went through three of the most difficult years of my adult life (growing pains I would call it). Thankfully I believe that pimple has popped (you know like the birth of a baby) the most difficult and painful was the end leading to healing (and new birth). I’m full of hope and excitement as I enter and embrace a new season of life. We’ll see what the future holds…
A little personal history…
I was born in the boonies of Jalisco, MX…that is in an area so rural that the only attendants or souls anywhere near my birthsite were my mother, grandmother and a midwife. I entered this world not just through physical pain but also in the midst of an indescribable heartache. My mother lived a life of suffering and though she tells me she never wanted me I know she just did not want me come into the world that so greatly caused her so much pain. She was 20 years old and had been married to an unfaithful, controlling, abusive man for 4 years. Growing up in a rural area she had no education and the strictest of childhoods where carefree play was little short of forbidden.
We officially immigrated to the US when I was about six years old upon following the wanderlust of my father but soon enough only the lust remained and he was off womanizing and engaging in every worldly pleasure the decadence of a city like Los Angeles had to offer. Yep, I pretty much grew up a typical alienated rootless latchkey kid in the 80’s. As a teen the thought of making it through the infinite chasm into adulthood seemed unsurpassable but somehow i did and from the time I graduated high school and went off to college I was on my own navigating the complexities of a life i did not understand but at least had found some hope for. In many respects I was a success story out of the depths of society but I did not come out unscathed. The deepest wound would take years to heal and to this day I am still feeling the aftershocks.
At 24 I experienced the greatest of miracles upon meeting and marrying my husband in a surreal whim having only known him a couple of months and never even going through a dating relationship together. Our story together has been one of infinite grace (Anika) and enduring love (Dante). It’s been almost 12 years now and our story is still developing…
Only recently did I finally understand the connection between emotions, thoughts and actual experience and how these need to be in sync in order to live and feel emotionally, spiritually and mentally healthy. I feel like in many ways I just grew up even though I’ve been technically an adult for half my life (18 years), I guess it just took that long for those initial childhood wounds to heal from which I took the biggest blow on the emotional spectrum.
9.5.07