A week ago today we finally got the long awaited “letter” from the NYC Department of Education postmarked Aug 21 2008.

It simply reads:

Thank you for your interest in the New York City Department of Education Gifted and Talented programs.

Based upon the eligibility criteria for entrance to Gifted and Talented programs, we are unable to offer your child a placement in the programs for the 2008-2009 school year. We wish your child every success in the upcoming school year.

Sincerely,

(unsigned)

Office of Student Enrollment

These are the stated requirements:

WHAT ARE THE ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS?

Eligibility for upper elementary grades placement is established by combining the 2008 English Language Arts (ELA) and
Math scores for a total score. Baseline scores of Level 4 on both standardized tests are required for placement
consideration, as follows:
• For students currently in grade 3 requesting a placement to a grade 4 Gifted & Talented (G&T) program in a district
school for 2008, the score range on each test is:
o Grade 3 ELA 730 – 780
o Grade 3 Math 703 – 770

– Information for Families –
Request for Placement in Upper Elementary Gifted & Talented Programs
Grade 4 in K-5 District Schools
Grade 5 in District K-6 Schools
For the 2008-2009 School Year

Anika’s March 2008 Mathmatics Scaled Scored and Performance Levels for Grade 3 were:
Performance Level: 4 Scaled Score: 770 (Highest possible)

Anika’s January 2008 English Language Arts Scaled Scores and Performance Levels for Grade 3 were:
Performance Level: 4 Scaled Score: 720

I double and triple checked with her elementary school (PS9) Assistant Principal Kate Witzke about the apparent discrepancy with the ELA scaled score of 720 and performance level of 4. She assured me that was correct and that Anika qualified to apply for the G&T programs. So when the applications finally became available end of May we applied. Apparently she was misinformed. All the placements are done by the local district, at least that is the “official” stance.

This was Anika’s last report card (before I pulled her out last Spring for this reason).

And just in case she did not get a G&T placement we applied to PS87. We live just a few blocks north of this school. Here was that response:

From: DKilcullen at schools dot nyc dot gov
Subject: RE: Acceptance Letters to PS 87
Date: August 24, 2008 7:40:34 PM EDT
To: me at liliflower dot com

Hello Lilia,

Thank you for your interest in PS 87. Unfortunately, we do not have placements available for families living outside the catchment zone.

Good Luck!

Danielle K. Kilcullen
Parent Coordinator
PS 87
160 West 78th Street
New York, NY 10024
Office: 212 - 678 - 2826 Dial - 3 or ext. 444
Cell: 347 - 563 - 4499
Email: DKilcullen at schools dot nyc dot gov

I actually doubt she ever gave the district our applications because we never got a “letter” from the district about this and the “official” word is only the district does these kinds of placements as well.

This process took TWO long years. I have no interest in fighting this system and thus I let it be when all was said and done. There are no options for Anika in the NYC public schools other than the ONE general education/collaborative team teaching (special ed) class at our local PS9 public school. Like I said spending one year there was more than enough given the kind of peer environment she had to endure. I must say, she was an ideal student…

and lucky me, she still is.

We have decided to HOME SCHOOL long term.

Basically the only other options that I would consider worthwhile were private schools that in this city have an average tuition of $25-30K per child. There is just no way that I’m going to walk back into the job world after 8 years of being home with these kids and make the $75K/year to make it worth it. At this point if somehow we came to have unlimited income we would still homeschool AND travel the world while we were at it :-D. To be sincere, I am somewhat devastated at the reality of our experience with “public school”. On the other hand I think this whole new world that has opened up to us (HOMESCHOOLING) is just an absolutely AMAZING opportunity and I WILL rise to the challenge. I’ve been around it long enough (even long before this March) to recognize the unique and phenomenal opportunities it presents.

We have a high value for our family and sibling experience so we also decided to home school Dante out as well. He had the chance to take the “G&T” placement “test” this last school year.

I don’t doubt for one minute that “Comparisons Subset” was a fluke and that he would more accurately be in the 99%. Dante’s academic performance was undoubtedly top of his “gen ed” class. Here is his last report card:

We have no doubt we have two incredible kids, whom I enjoy thoroughly and genuinely look forward to fully investing myself into.

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It’s a last day of school tradition. We went for Dante but Anika and another private school friend had no problems joining right in.

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Though I in particular experienced a high level of stress as her public school days came to an end, Anika has been as happy, calm and excited as can be. We’re pretty much continuing something in every main subject area she was covering in school and have added a few things here and there as well as going more in depth in each area. (Here’s some of what we are covering: Morning Journal, Math, Word Study, Social Studies (Mexico Unit Study), Science, Art, Music, Reading, Writing (all kinds), Spanish, Thinking Skills, Cursive, Computer-Typing, Computer (all kinds of other stuff), Poetry, Blog, Research, and Physical Activity.) These things are mapped on a weekly schedule that is flexible but certainly has goals for each day. Some of the things unique to home learning that we’ve particularly enjoyed are our walks. On the first one we had quite a lengthy conversation in Spanish which Anika is still in the beginnings of learning and on the second one we did a neighborhood photo shoot with the subject of signs (signage) and a visit to a special garden to better visualize a scene we read about in “The Secret Garden.” Both included some free park play time. We’ve had wonderful days. I think this is gonna work out just fine. Really it is up to us to make of it the best experience it can be.

Today was actually her fourth day home learning though Friday was a bit unusual since Dante was home too. He needed a day to process the change and understand his school situation was just fine and it wasn’t unfair that he wasn’t getting to stay home as well. It’s all worked out now, what he really wanted was as much attention as Anika was getting and once we showered him with that and lots of special times together he was just fine. He needs intentional quality time with either mom or dad or both and that makes all the difference in the world.

My anxiety came from the fact that though I didn’t get much resistance for our decision, I could definitely sense the sadness and worry of the teachers; an unstated questioning of whether or not i had any idea of what i was getting myself into, and of course there’s what may seem like a ludicrous thought that I can do any better than the tons of well trained professionals invested in the kids at this school (ie. two credentialed teachers, two assistants (as of last Wednesday, THREE assistants, which makes a total of 5 adults for 22 students—yes, the needs ARE that acute), and on a weekly basis—a gym teacher, a music teacher, a science teacher, a computer teacher, a spanish teacher, an art teacher, AND a dance teacher!) WHEW!!! Yes, this can be intimidating. Ultimately it came down to the fact that though they care for and love Anika they have no say in the make-up of the class she previously found herself in and the peer environment that made up the bulk of Anika’s school day. It was those pressures and realities and how they were affecting Anika that led us to intervene. (The best intervention is early intervention.. ) Anika can certainly hold strong in tense environments for long lengths of time and thrive but what many don’t know is she tends to keep all her frustrations and anxieties bottled up and you won’t know there is a problem until it is too late. Partly it’s her personality and partly it is her undeveloped coping skills but regardless it is what it is. Having spent 95% of every minute of her life with her I know this child profoundly. I know her spoken and unspoken language, I can sense her emotions even before she herself recognizes them, I can tell when she’s feeling sick though she herself won’t say a thing until she is really really sick, I know and value her unique personality, gifts, likes and dislikes, and of course I totally love her like only a mother could. Given my intuition (gut instinct) and knowing these things about this child along with good sound judgement (having sought much advice from those wiser than myself) led to the final decision. Now whether it actually is the better choice we will not really know (as my wonderful sister-in-law puts it) until time has passed and we look back, until Anika looks back on her childhood. What we can do as purveyors of our present and future is to do everything within our means to make it as wonderful an experience as we possibly can.

After talking with several school administrators we came to the mutual agreement that her last day would be last Wednesday (3-5-08) due to the statewide math tests. The day was certainly much anticipated and the teachers and Anika agreed to keep it all a secret so the rest of the kids wouldn’t worry about her leaving but plan for a little celebration for her on her last day. I volunteered to bring in chips & salsa and lemonade. To add that extra little special touch I bought beautiful little colorful paisley napkins. I also prepared a gift for everyone in the class. For the students, I framed their individual illustrations we had previously made for the art project. Anika helped me with picking out colorful patterned backgrounds to match each color frame. For the teachers we brought in all the kids illustrations into a photoshop document and resized them all to fit into an 8.5″ by 11″ paper, printed them on nice presentation paper and framed them. The finished product was beautiful! I really do hope they enjoy them. For the assistants I printed the same thing just did not frame them.

This of course is the wonderful aftermath of a very intense transition for me as I went through the full gamut of emotions and doubts in the process. Needless to say, here we are pressing forward anticipating all the wonderful things the future holds.

Here are the final class gifts:

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You may find this interesting if you are following our school situation with Anika.

http://liliflower.com/2008/02/12/meeting-the-guidance-counselor/#comments

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So we had our big meeting yesterday with the teachers and the school guidance counselor. This was the first time I had really sat and talked with the guidance counselor who happens to be a lovely lady. She immediately stated how happy she was that we were all coming together to discuss the issue at hand regarding Anika in the context of this very high needs classroom. Aside from listening to our concerns she focused on what Anika needed to thrive in such an environment which resonated with me because that’s how I’ve managed to hang in there this long to begin with. She acknowledged that problems exist everywhere, in every school, in every context, in every program and of course I agreed with her. That is life. It is not perfect. She then went on to focus on what we could all to to help Anika thrive in her classroom environment like helping build resiliency, helping Anika find her voice so she can speak up and express her feelings and needs in such a context and developing a pliability/elasticity as opposed to rigidity in regards towards Anika’s tendency towards perfectionism. This was all good, I agreed these are good things. The teachers offered to revisit and reestablish a rapport and communication with Anika to help her in these areas. Somehow it all stayed eerily positive. I know on my end I was very cautious in trying to keep it positive so as to not unnecessarily escalate a situation and thus make it worse and of course the administrative representative came off as wanting to smooth this all out as quickly as possible. Anika’s teachers gave me the impression of genuine concern and a willingness to continue to go above and beyond in trying to make the best of this unfortunate situation. The guidance counselor hinted more at the possibility of us being over protective and not allowing the room for Anika to normalize and adjust in a peer social context. Not wanting to come off as over protective and thus quickly dismissed I found myself just sort of agreeing with it all and holding on to the microscopic golden nuggets of hope for dear life and reassurance that everything was going to be ok and that soon enough Anika would finally have the opportunity to test for the infamous Gifted & Talented program and hopefully be given one of the very likely TWO coveted spots in the other class. Ah and yes, the guidance counselor affirmed two to three times over what a wonderful school this was and how fortunate we were to be there and how the services and teachers were top notch etc. etc.

I walked out with a general sense that I had gained an ally in trying to make the best of the situation and helping Anika hang in there and again “just make the best of it.”

And then in the short walk home I slowly began to feel “duped” I guess you could say.

How in the world did the conversation stick to where Anika needed to grow and mature and completely ignore the fact of the EXTENUATING circumstances this New York Public school has locked her into?

This is NOT just a normal public school classroom environment especially at this school. I’m slowing finding out about an unspoken consensus among most parents and staff that this is by far the most challenging class in the whole school. We’re talking kids constantly on the verge of breakdowns threatening the safety of all around them having tantrums to the equivalent of an out of control two year old cussing out anyone within their voices reach crawling all over the floor and even throwing chairs!!! These are all incidents within the last year. To be fair, the full on tantrums come about monthly(I found out the latest of these was just yesterday) but on a more regular basis you have the cussing , the general disruptive misbehavior of not listening to instructions, getting in and out of seat at will the personal frustrations of an emotionally disturbed child not being able to complete a simple assignment and falling apart crying, the paranoia of the kid across the room “lookin’ at him”, and all too normal ADD typical behaviors. Technically I don’t know how many kids in there are Special Education but I do know from first hand experience that these are the “normal” behaviors of at least a handful of kids in there that overwhelmingly set the tone for all the rest. The bulk of the class is made of of what would be more appropriately categorized as remedial kids, kids with mild learning disabilities but otherwise well behaved and kids who are very recent English Language Lerners. Out of 23 kids, Anika is one of THREE peers similar to herself. Out of those 3 one is new this schoolyear and the other just enrolled in December. There is one more academically advanced kid in there but he is also one that has been known to cry uncontrollably, tantrum and is constantly up and about doing his own thing.

YES, there are TWO credentialed teachers in there and two assistants and that is an honorable effort on the schools behalf to adequately address the needs there along with the countless specialists coming in and out to pick up kids to provide the much applauded enrichment services. Yes this is all great for the rest of the kids who need all that. For Anika it is a sad case of the injustice of a system that would have a child (and parent) suffer through this all when there is a much more appropriate placement RIGHT NEXT DOOR!!! The INJUSTICES of this system hide behind what I would deem controversial and subjective assesments/ tests and evaluations of 4 year olds to determine “giftedness” and lock any poor unfortunate soul or newcomer out of the only possibility of a decent education regardless of ACTAUL PERFORMANCE!!!

Now I am glad Anika is doing well despite all the formerly stated unfortunate circumstances but I am worried…very worried. I’m seeing this environment take its toll and I am having difficulty assessing when too much is too much while at the same time hanging on to the glimmer of hope of getting the opportunity to finally get out of that predicament for next year.

What is a mother to do?

At the very least I feel a tad better getting this all out.

Ah, and yes, I called the guidance counselor back today and left a message saying I was still having a very difficult time with this situation despite our meeting yesterday.

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I’m loosing sleep again over Anika’s classroom situation. This is the latest letter I sent. We are scheduled for a meeting with the teachers and school guidance counselor next Monday afterschool.

Dear Ms. Brockbank and Ms. Wells,

Yesterday Anika came home unusually dispirited. Upon speaking with her I came to understand that all the class disruptions due to misbehavior are really having a significant negative effect on her. Ms. Brockbank, I do believe you are an excellent class manager but at this point we’re getting the impression that some students act up so frequently that further attention is needed on this issue. Anika tells me that whenever you are out of the classroom the kids are sure to act up and whenever they go to an enrichment activity like music or art or the Spanish teacher comes in there is critical instruction time lost to trying to get the class to settle. I am coming to the conclusion and have confirmed with Anika that this also happens during normal instruction. The behavioral disruptions seem to be taking their toll.

Now I know this must be incredibly difficult for you as teachers constantly having to address these issues and I’m suggesting it may be time for some collaborative brainstorming to seek a solution with better results. I am highly concerned with this whole situation and more specifically with the idea that has come up lately that the students are responsible for each other because they are a “team”. For an ultra-compliant child like Anika and many others in the class I think this expectation is quite unreasonable given the volatility of the constant offenders.

To your credit the best thing that has happened to Anika in the last two days has been going to the other class for the math period…the first thing she commented about this was “Mommy, it is so nice and quite in there. Everybody pays attention and listens.” Unfortunately this concept of a classroom ready to learn is foreign to her and has underlined the stark disheartening reality of the situation in her own class. Not only that, it has now become apparent that the depth and quality of the teaching content Anika receives is lacking. I emphasize the fact that you have gone above and beyond in trying to address her academic needs but the fact remains that the behavioral disruptions are constant and are taking their toll. Added to the fact that the bulk of the time the class is settled and engaged in learning the content is much too basic, I think it is time for a better solution than just extra enrichment homework added to the already heavy loaded busy work and constant reviewing. Yes I am aware of the recent additional time in the last two days in another classroom for the math period and the reading discussion group that was recently formed. I highly applaud these efforts and it is such things that keep me hanging on to hope and genuinely and positively engaged.

Our goal here is for a collaborative solution being well aware that the effects of this situation are widening an ever increasing gap between what Anika is being taught and her actual ability for learning. Again, we commend your excellence and dedication as educators, you have a very tough task on your hands. My husband and I are in full agreement and ask for a face to face meet time to review this situation.

Sincerely,

Melvin & Lilia Rivera
Parents of Anika Rivera

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So the good news is that I’ve learned some tricks of the trade. The truth is that contrary to what you may conclude from the title of this post I’m actually on the very tippy fringe of all this school involvement stuff.First of all, we did our share to contribute:Here is our donation for the fundraising event:Every baked good is individually wrapped…we made pumpkin and green tea muffins and chocolate cupcakes.In this event organized by the PTA, all parents were asked to donate baked goods (not all actually donate of course). The turnout was impressive…we’re talking four large long tables filled 2 to 3 times over with all kinds of muffins, brownies, rice krispies, bagels, cookies, cupcakes, doughnuts, breads, pies, cheesecake and of course coffee, juices, water and tea. The sheer variety was quite impressive.This whole thing was set up at 6am outdoors because it was a school day and already the whole cafeteria was taken up with election stuff. I got there about 10am. Goods arrived throughout the day though of course most of them were there by the time I got there. Unofficially there were two parent volunteers manning each table though at times more at times less.At one point it actually began to rain and school officials allowed two tables to come inside while the ones outside were briefly covered with large plastic bags. The rain was light and soon completely stopped though the threat for more remained constant.Now this is of utter fundraising importance: The event slogan was “Take what you want, pay what you want.” …this all based on donation basis. The amazing thing here is that most people “donated” much more than the value of what they actually took acknowledging is was, after all, a donation to the school. I’m talking 5’s, 10’s, and 20’s for a handful or a small bag full of baked goods. Yes of course some people take lots and give chump change but for the most part this was a rare occurrence. Word on the street is they’ve raised as much as 6K total at one of these here events.This fundraiser goes into the collective pool of money the PTA raises throughout the year to pay for art, music, computers, gym, chess, and spanish teachers. All the students receive roughly an hour of each of these special programs per week. It’s a good thing.Now for the downside… now please note this is the second baked goods sale I work this year… at times the volunteer parents are a bit too pushy hounding every poor passerby to stop and get some baked goods and then really emphasize how they are making a donation to support our public school. It is a fine line between amazing salesmanship and plain pushiness. In my mind the parents who would get upset if someone didn’t donate to their expectations certainly crossed the line. Not cool people.All in all the positives outweigh the negatives but I can’t help but note that just as I am on the fringe of this close knit PTA inner circle both of my kids are also on the fringe of what this here great school has to offer because given our New York City public school system they are still in the GENERAL ED program which does benefit equally from all these fundraisers but the truth of the matter is that the kids in these classes tend to have so many learning and behavior problems that in my mind my kids are certainly getting the short end of the stick. To clarify my point…let’s say my daughter’s class goes to the art room for their one hour weekly lesson…it is quite likely that the teacher spends half the time trying to manage the class rather than actually teaching art. Sadly this applies throughout the school day as well. Yes, something is better than nothing but it is heartbreaking nonetheless.As a reminder, New York City schools test for “giftedness” (in my opinion a very questionable matter) in PRESCHOOL. They actually test throughout elementary but the biggest emphasis is placed in preschool which determines the bulk of the student makeup for “Gifted & Talented Programs” which is the only place to get anything above a bare bones education around here. Since we just moved into the state last year AND missed last year’s testing deadline this is the first year we can even apply for testing and at this point that doesn’t even guarantee anything NOT because these kids wouldn’t test above and beyond to qualify but the fact that at this point the open slots are VERY few. To top it all off, have I mentioned GEN ED is like 98% low income minority while the G&T programs tend to be upper middle class and (at this particular school) well represented ethnically though one can’t help but observe an overwhelming number of light skinned faces there. For now we’re all still hanging in there given the previously stated fact that the positives do outweigh the negatives (BARELY) but nonetheless this remains a CONSTANT struggle for us. The pressure is building…time will tell.

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I got there a couple minutes early today…it’s just a couple of minutes away but somehow i miscalculated today. On days like this when it’s a bit chilly out I don’t like to stand out in the cold waiting for the gate to open for us to be reunited with our progeny. Though I must admit I do enjoy the little tid bits of social niceties exchanged about the weather or some other small talk with people waiting alongside. Some have remained brief courteous nods as with the father from Montenegro who daily picks up his two lovely (literally beautiful) daughters one of whom is in Dante’s class wearing his building super uniform. Others I’ve slowly gotten to know a bit more in these brief interactions such as the grandmother from the Dominican Republic who cares for her young grandson. We chit chat in Spanish. She’s been in the neighborhood for many years. Her daughter (the child’s mom) actually went to this same elementary school. Originally I got to know her when I was trying to organize parent chaperones for field trips and she had shown some interest. Turned out she never made it to a field trip but nonetheless communication between us opened up. A few months back she shared her eldest daughter was fighting cancer and for a while there it got so bad she she shed quite a few tears in our short conversations. My heart went out to her. Eventually I got to meet her youngest daughter (the boy’s mom, 23) whom I now actually look forward to seeing every day. The marriage with the child’s Dad didn’t work out so she’s living with her mom again going to school and hoping for a part time job. She’s got an intriguing look…dyed jet black kinky hair, very fair skin and features that would inspire any Japanese shojo manga illustrator. She went to get copies of her divorce papers at city hall today, it’s actually been a while since it all came down, she had just somehow lost them. She expressed her desire to take back her maiden name and revealed a subtle wound as she informed me next time she gets married she want to marry someone “white” so she can have a nice last name. I then ran into whom I would say is one of my closest friends, she’d blond and blue eyed and lives right smack in the middle of Harlem with her husband and two kids. I shared the fact that I picked up Dreams from my Father this week and I couldn’t put it down knowing she too was reading it. She’s gonna be out leafletting tomorrow morning at 7:30am with a another friend who is actually an active volunteer for the campaign and called her because she’d seen the Obama poster on their front door. It’s a busy few minutes I tell you. By this time I’m inside the schoolyard gate picking up Dante and confirming the time for next Monday with his teacher for an art project another parent and I will come to the classroom to do with the kids. I have a few kids running circles around me at this time. I go back to the young mom and point out the new kid in the class from France who doesn’t speak a word of English. He started yesterday and I was just excited to share the news. Then I moved on to the little girl who all week has been asking for a playdate with Dante. I did approach her grandmother on Monday who responded with a very bewildered look on her face so I quickly dismissed it suggesting maybe when the weather warmed up we could go to the playground. I assumed that maybe the idea didn’t sit well with here because of the stranger factor given we didn’t really know each other but soon figured out the next day that maybe she just didn’t understand what I was trying to say. She looks African American but when I heard her speaking Spanish the next day I realized maybe she was Caribbean and didn’t speak English so well so I approached the subject again in Spanish and she again seemed to dodge the issue saying she’d run it by the child’s mom. And then again the next day when the little girl ran up to me informing me her mom had said yes but when I approached the grandmother she said the weather was bad and needed to catch the bus home right away. I really tried to make the social engagement the least intimidating possible but somehow it was just not getting through. Finally today when the little girl came up to me and I looked up at the grandmother she greeted me with a great big smile and engaged in conversation about this never ceasing petition for a playdate. We finally agreed on them coming over tomorrow. After all that work it took to get to this point she expressed how it would be really nice for her to get out given she had “lost” a daughter last year and wasn’t getting out much these days. Go figure. Oddly enough you never know what lies underneath the facades of everyday acquaintances. I am totally looking forward to getting to know this woman.

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